Two paths...

Two paths on the beach.  Are they diverging or coming together?

If you think about it they both end up in the same place whichever direction they are going.  Standing together on the beach watching the sun rise or fall, or standing together where the paths meet. Or perhaps travelling in opposite directions with great distance between... there's much to be interpreted here.

This was a prayer drawing on the topic of a relationship. 

But also a suitable representation of Him guiding me and the fellow believers around me on our paths.

Letting go...

I've been listening to a lot of sermons on forgiveness and the healing it can bring to a person.  To forgive as God forgave... 

I want to, but HOW.

I've been praying on it and meditating on it.  I watched a few good messages on it, from Pastor Craig Groeschel and Joyce Meyer, and even a few Ted Talks.

I really enjoyed Pastor Craig's honest story in the message above.  At first, begrudgingly, he asks God to "do something" for this person who he needed to forgive.  Then, his prayer grew more earnest and true over time, and eventually, he was able to forgive this person with a letter, and his forgiveness touched this other person and led him to a relationship with God.

This drawing was to show me that letting go of the past hurts would lead me to a closer relationship with God and peace.

I discovered today that my sketch book had been mistreated.  It ended up under the seat of my car, and some pages were torn or dirty.  I was so upset, because the pages that were ruined were the past few drawings I had done in the front of the book.

The dove drawing, which was about half done, had a small tear and some wrinkles, but no dirt.  I almost tore it out and tossed it, but I was called to finish it instead.  While I am still a little upset about the drawings that got ruined, I had to remind myself that I had already photographed them and told their story here on this blog... That now they are "just paper".  The rest of the notebook, all of the white pages, remain clean and undamaged, waiting for me to draw more.

I finished the dove, and sent it to two of my friends.

The reaction was perfect.  The drawing meant different things to each of them, but they both "needed" to hear the message of the drawing tonight.

Which is why I will keep drawing; there are messages coming out of my pencils that speak to people that need to hear something.

I was asked if I made any resolutions this year. Yes, I did.  First, is to finally read the bible, all of it, in context, not just verses here and there, and to keep praying and drawing... a lot.

The pearl...

On New Year's Eve, I was drawing with my two youngest daughters.

"I can't draw people" is usually followed closely by "I can't draw hands".  I told the girls that my resolution was to read my new book (a beautiful new bible from one of my sisters) every day, and finish it by summer.  I was also going to keep practicing my drawing, and hope to get even better by practicing.

I told them that I was going to try to draw my hand because hands are very hard for me.  I laid it gently to the side, and began to draw.  They were amazed watching my fingers and palm appear.  The creases, lines, and tendons, and my wrist tattoo reminding me to "Be still..."

I finished shading it this morning, but something was missing.  And I prayed on it, and was reminded of the parable of the pearl in Matthew 13: 45-46  "45 "Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. 46 When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.""

Side note: Pearls are my birthstone - coincidence?

And so, I added the pearl to my palm, as if I was observing it, or about to share it with someone.

Which leads me to where I am in this very moment.  Sharing it with someone. I prayed this afternoon on how to share my testimony, how to share the Word of God, this Good News, how to "create more and better disciples" as is the mission of my church.

I clearly heard and was drawn to begin this blog.  And so I have.

Today is 1/1/2019.  I hope you will find something that speaks to you within these drawings.  With each drawing comes a coincidence that I cannot explain.  A coincidence that I believe is the work of God within my hands.

As I have heard it said before... 

There are no such things as coincidences. 

Coincidences are God working anonymously.

This blog is my way of revealing Him.

Songbirds...

This drawing is another prayerful drawing related to myself.  I have four beautiful daughters.  And through the last year, I've really been in a season of winter with my two oldest.

I wanted to pray for my children, but they aren't believers yet, and I wasn't sure what He was telling me to draw.  Then I remembered the tattoo on my ankle depicting Mark 4: 30-32   "30 Again he said, “What shall we say the kingdom of God is like, or what parable shall we use to describe it? 31 It is like a mustard seed, which is the smallest of all seeds on earth. 32 Yet when planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants, with such big branches that the birds can perch in its shade.”

I began to draw my favorite songbirds, each representing the personalities of and ages of my children.  I added snowy branches to represent our season of winter.  And of course, this drawing had to be in color to represent the beauty within my girls.

I scanned the image and made it the cover of my Christmas cards for them, and inside the card I explained the traits of each bird that reminded me of them.

I made them each an ornament of their bird to remind them of my drawing and my love for them.

This drawing is now framed and hangs in my bedroom, with photos of my girls on either side of it.

I pray each day that God brings us through this winter season and into spring, where they will know and feel and accept my love for them.

Dad...

This drawing began with the rosary.  I started it at the hospital while I was staying there for several days with my father, a devout Catholic, who raised us in his faith. He was quite ill and needed a family member to stay at night with him.

At the time he was wheelchair bound for the most part, and sometimes easily confused.

Soon after he came home, I decided to add his likeness to the drawing.  This was quite stressful to me, even more than the thought of "messing up" Jesus' drawing.  If I made a mistake, I would see it.  My family would see it.  They would say, "That doesn't look like Dad at all!"  I was worried that I would miss the mark on his image, and that felt very wrong to me.  I could have told myself that it is just paper, I could throw it out if the image was terrible, but I didn't tell myself that.  I told myself that I could draw him, and I asked God to help me draw him.

I chose my favorite picture of Dad, taken at my youngest sister's wedding.  He was smiling as she pinned on his boutonniere.  I ever-so-lightly sketched him in, and showed my two sisters, and of course, my youngest immediately recognized him and the photo I was using for reference.  I was relieved slightly, because at least it was recognizable as Dad.

I spent what felt like forever building up the shading and contours of his portrait.

It's funny what you notice when your drawing becomes a portrait of someone that you know; the nose is spot on.  It's sort of the signature nose of Dad's family. I'm really proud of that nose.

And of course, as I worried would happen, because he's my father, and I live with him- I see every imperfection in the drawing.  His eyes are too big (though they really look very kind and gentle). At first, his mouth looked strained instead of having the hint of a smile, but I worked and reworked the smile until he looked more like the photograph.

And I was proud to show it to one of my family members, who said briskly and without further comment, "His head is too small."

This post isn't about what is wrong with the picture, it is about what is right.

First, that it isn't finished.  I feel that I'll be adding to the right side at some point in the future, but I've put the image away for now.

Secondly, not long after finishing his portrait to the point that you see it now, Dad drastically improved.  He has been using his walker instead of the wheelchair for a couple of months now, and his mind is sharper than it has been in a very long while.

The prayers that I sent up while I drew this were intense, were heard,and were answered.

Alice...

This drawing, while not religious in nature, was made for my daughter for her birthday.  She does not live with me, and I do not see her very often. We are in a season of winter.

She loves Alice in Wonderland, and as I drew it, I focused my thoughts on her and how much I love her, and I prayed that someday she would know in her heart how much she means to me and that our relationship would be restored.

I framed it, and gave this to her for her 15th birthday with a quote from the mad hatter drawn on the mat...  "When you can't look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark."

I left her a scripture on the inside the frame, on the back of the drawing. I told her it was there and that she could find it when she was ready.  John 1: 5, "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."

I love her so much.

I can't draw people...

I've always said that I can't draw people.  It is something I struggle with, even with computer editing software.  I find that ratios and features always look strange to me.  Depth of field never seems quite right.

For my third drawing, I decided to pray for myself, and to focus on the face of Jesus.  The "person" above all people.  I used a reference drawing that I found online, but frankly, my drawing turned out nothing like that one at all.

I think I had more confidence with this drawing because no one living has seen the actual face of Jesus.  There is no one who can tell me that his nose is too big, or his beard too thick.  I just drew him as I see him in my mind.  With kind, yet sad, eyes. With strength and dignity in his features.

I knew that the light of the Father should be shining down on him.

This drawing now "lives" in the pocket as the front cover of my sketch book.

Living water...

I had another dear friend who was going through a difficult issue.  She was praying for certain medical test results desperately.

I prayed for her and for her test results, and was pulled to draw a cross for her and at the foot of it, a bible opened to John 7:38, "Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them." with a river of living water flowing through it.

When it was finished, I took a photo of it, and sent the photo to her.  She immediately recognized the living water, and then we had a bit of a chuckle, because her test results were based on a urine test.  I believe that, yes, God can have a sense of humor, but this is another case where I feel He spoke to me to guide my hand.

Later, I framed her drawing and sent it to her as a blessing.

The first drawing...

My first drawing was made for a dear friend who was going through a difficult season.  I wanted to draw a cross and place my friend at the foot of it in my mind, as my church friend had suggested.

I lightly sketched a rustic, simple cross with a mechanical pencil. I knew I wanted the fabric draped and then wrapped around the cross as if enveloping the friend I was praying for. After the light sketch was done, I realized that the mechanical pencil was not going to work well for shading. I went to the art supply store and asked about pencils or charcoal.  I was advised to get a set of pencils of assorted hardness. The clerk showed me that the softer leads drew a bit darker, while the harder leads drew a bit lighter. I purchased Staedtler set of 12 Mars Lumograph pencils, a skinny mechanical eraser (Factis BM2), a zipper pencil pouch, and a hand sharpener.

I then went and sat on a bench at the side of a lake. It was a beautiful morning, the sun was shining and there were birds singing. A family of ducks swam by and watched me for a few minutes.

And I drew.

And I shaded.

And then... it was done.

I was surprised at the result.  I stared at it in wonder, disbelieving that it had come from my hand.

I took a photo of it, and sent the photo via text message to my friend that I was praying for.  I joked that my cross sketch had turned into "a bit more than a sketch."

What my friend wrote back really stunned me, and was the first clue that God was at work here.  My friend said that the cross was exactly like the one at the church he goes to.  He sent me a photo of his church's cross.

I was immediately overwhelmed because it was true. His cross looked exactly like my drawing.  I got goosebumps and tears in my eyes, and thanked God for guiding my hand.

I then framed the finished photo and sent it to my friend to keep as a blessing.

The beginning...

This is how I hear Him speaking to me, and through me... 

During the summer of 2018, I was working through the most difficult season of my life and had come back to Faith. That season, at that time, had lasted for about a year.  I was looking for an outlet for my story, for my testimony, and had considered many options; writing a book, or a blog, or a graphic novel.  I felt very strongly that the calling was strongest for the graphic novel, and began to make some panes using my software.

One of my dear friends from church suggested a few times that I should try to draw the panels by hand instead of with the computer. I said many times to her that I "can't draw by hand" and that I was "terrible at drawing people" or "I don't know how" to draw by hand.

Now, at this time I had also volunteered to help design a classroom for the church, which was experiencing a major expansion project.  The classroom, which was for first and second grade students, was to have an "Under the Sea" theme to it with some wallpaper murals mounted on the wall that would need to have some decorative painting around them to blend them in.  The classroom was quite large, and I had the assistance of very talented artist to help me with the wall murals.

On the day that I went to the hardware store to pick up the paint for the wall murals, I was stunned to see that my paint department technician had tattooed sleeves on both arms of under the sea themes.   His tattoos included the same corals and many of the same fish that were planned for my walls!  He allowed me to take a photo of his tattoos to show my design team. Surely this was no coincidence.

Right smack in the middle of the hustle and bustle of the room work, I developed some unexpected and quite painful medical issues, as did the artist who was helping me. I doubted that I could finish the project on my own and with no formal training.

I thought such doubts to myself as, "My room will never look as good as the other classrooms" and "I can't paint as good the other artists."  I never took an art class (other than the usual art class in high school over 25 years ago) and was not trained by anyone in any particular style.   (I did love watching Bob Ross as a child, and I had watched a video on One Stroke painting before.)

I managed to push through the pain for the most part, but progress was slow. One Saturday, I was feeling particularly good and planned to spend much of the day painting.

I made a lot of progress on the walls, painting various corals and seaweed, but there was one space that kept calling to me for something different, something special. I decided to sit on the floor and freehand an octopus in that spot, just below a window.  I had never painted coral, nor seaweed, and certainly, never an octopus. I prayed for God to guide my hand, dipped my brush, and just started painting.  I ended up with a gigantic orange octopus who simply looked like he belonged in that spot.

I looked at my watch and realized that I had managed to paint for 6 hours straight that day with no pain. As soon as I was finished with the octopus and stood up, however, the pain returned with intensity.  A sign that the day's work was well done.

Over the course of the next few weeks, I managed to paint all of the classroom walls and I still look with wonder on the final results. Surely I had created the artwork, but it came out better than I ever imagined or anticipated.

While at church services one Sunday, that very same talented artist was seated in the row next to me.  As we were talking, she told me that she often sketches crosses when she prays for specific people, and envisions setting that person and their needs at the foot of the cross.  It was very powerful for her and helped her to intently focus on that person as she prayed for them.

I could hear Him in that moment telling me to at least TRY to draw.

I purchased an inexpensive sketch book, and a package of mechanical pencils.  As I began my first drawing, I was not happy with the mechanical pencils. I headed to the art store where I purchased a set of drawing pencils of varying hardness.

Thus began my prayerful drawings.   I will share each one as it is finished, the significance behind it, and the coincidences that I cannot explain other than to tell you that He is working through my hands.

I share them here to inspire others, to share His word, and testify to how I hear Him speaking to me in my daily life and through these drawings.

He is so good.  He has blessed me with artistic skills that I didn't know I had, and gave me the friends He used to speak to me... to tell me to TRY.  He guides my hand as I draw while I pray, and helps me see the image that He wants me to share with others.

Thank you for visiting my blog. I hope you find something here that speaks to you.  Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or feedback using the comments options.